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Gender & Society, Vol. 18, No. 6, 735-755 (2004)
DOI: 10.1177/0891243204268772

"Giving it up to God"

Negotiating Femininity in Support Groups for Wives of Ex-Gay Christian Men

Michelle Wolkomir

Centenary College of Louisiana

The gender order is subject to challenge and change, particularly when situations arise in which existing inequalities become apparent and therefore must be managed. This study examines one such situation by analyzing how conservative Christian women, who were married to gay men, negotiated feminine identities in marital situations that challenged the legitimacy of traditional gender ideologies and practices. To investigate how these women coped, in-depth interviews were conducted with 15 participants of Christian support groups for wives of homosexual men. Through support group participation, these wives learned two key strategies, redefining homosexuality and submitting to God, to transform the meanings and emotional experiences associated with their marital situations. An analysis of the use and the consequences of these strategies shows how they empowered the wives to positively redefine their marriages and themselves while justifying the existing pattern of gender relations.

Key Words: marriage • Christianity • femininity • support groups • homosexuality


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This article has been cited by other articles:


Home page
 Gender SocietyHome page
C. M. Robinson and S. E. Spivey
The Politics of Masculinity and the Ex-Gay Movement
Gender Society, October 1, 2007; 21(5): 650 - 675.
[Abstract] [PDF]